by Al Melichar, Sumner County citizen — July 4, 1939 in Yankee stadium, an honored ball player walked forward to say a few words. That has been said to be the greatest speech in baseball history. Lou Gehrig said to a crowd of well-wishers, ”I considered myself to be the luckiest man on the face of this earth” It was the sentence before that historical quote that I beam with joy today. “When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed, you are truly bless. Those two quotes reflect my sentiments of my lovely wife, Turi.

Al Melichar

Any couple, who faces a medical crisis, knows, without a doubt that their faith, their love for each other and marriage vows will be tested. Ours has been no exception. These past six years, after being diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s in our family, have been, no doubt the biggest challenge in our lives. Yes, I have kept the promise vows, I repeated to Turi, over 47 years ago, cherish and love in sickness and in health. Yet, the promise kept, that I want to share to you is greater than our wedding vows.

In the Book of Hebrews, God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. This is the verse we needed when we heard, ” Turi, you have Alzheimer’s”. By faith alone, we had to believe that verse, to hold true, if we were going continue a happy life together.

A very special friend of mine, wrote me these words. “Time may bring things we’re not ready for. But sometimes it brings great things we never knew we wanted.” Alzheimer’s hit us nearly the same year we lost our son, Tad. Alzheimer’s and loss of Tad, we were not ready for. Tad’s was final, Alzheimer’s, just the beginning. I soon realized that Alzheimer’s can get the best of you, but only if you let it. We were told that we had four to six years before this disease would limit the pleasures of traveling and doing things we always wanted to do. Our desire was to follow Tad’s travels and sights, we talked about doing when “we got old”. With that solemn promise, we took off without knowing what was ahead.

Caregivers are taught to protect their loved ones with Alzheimer’s from falling, sudden noises, tiredness, or putting them into environments that they are not ‘safe’. Well, I did not exactly follow those guidelines.

We did fun and exciting things. I held her hand tight, as we stood at the rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona and looked down. At the Royal Gorge in Colorado, I hung on to her as we looked down thousands of feet below , that seemed to never end. Together, we held hands as we looked up at millions of gallons of roaring water passing before us at Niagara Falls in New York. What fun we had sitting in a gondola, at the Keystone Mountain in Colorado. We held on to each other, as the wind was shaking us back and forth. I held her hand again, as we stood in knee deep water, along with other sightseers, in the Atlantic Ocean, to get a great view of the Shuttle Endeavor, heading into space as it passed directly over our heads near Cape Canaveral, Florida.

During our trips to Mt. Rainier and Mt. Saint Helen’s in Washington, the Tetons at Jackson Hole, Wyoming, we felt close to Tad. He had climbed these mountains and we tried to sense his emotions. While we were there, I had some of my first challenging moments with Turi. She began to wander away from me without notice. I feared this and thought about quitting our adventures, but God’s “promise kept” nudged me on. On the East coast we visited Gettysburg. We bought a fifth wheel camper and camped in the mountains of Colorado and yes, the lakes near our home.

I conquered that fear of separation by us dressing alike. My thinking was, if she wanders off, and I need to give a description, I can say, “She looks just like me.” What a blessing that was. Because, she did wander off, once in New York City , Times Square crowded subway, and another time in a Super Walmart in Utah. I gave them her description- “she looks like me”. She was found in minutes. God’s promise was again kept.

With time, I could see, we had to make some more changes. We needed unisex bathrooms on our travels and there are few. Turi was assisted in the women’s bathroom by many lovely women, but the time came when she needed me. Some ladies were a bit huffy, when I surprised them, as I helped Turi, out of her stall, in their bathroom. That did not stop us. We changed tactics. We did our best to sneak by men, whose backs were usually turned in the men’s room, as we headed to handicap stalls. They would hear us talking and giggling in the stall. Some waited outside, to see who would appear from the stall and awarded me with a smile or thumps up. Thanks guys. You do what have to do!

What does this have to do with the title “A promise kept”. Our wedding vows had a lot to do with it, but the real promise of the Lord, “I shall never leave nor forsake you,” is the true Promise Kept that afforded us six years of memories I will have forever.

My decision of putting Turi into caring hands with facilities I don’t have here at home has been a tough one. We have lived together for 47 years. Because of promises we made to each other on our wedding day, and the promises of God who will never leave us or forget our circumstances, Turi and I will continue our love companionship, but just not together at home.

You may be struggling too with unforeseeable problems. I hope what you have read, will give you renewed hope for any situation.  Your “Promise word” may come much like ours.  It was a promise from God’s word that made us put our trust in Him.  By knowing this,Turi and I felt, not like the luckiest couple on the face of this earth, but a very blessed couple on the face of this earth.

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