Do this…

… not that.

Commentary by Tracy McCue, Sumner Newscow — I’m not one to quibble. OK, I actually quibble quite a bit.

And there are bigger fishes to fry in Wellington, but I’m going to fry this one anyway.

Who recently did the road markings on the streets of Wellington? Like those dotted traffic lines that tell drivers they can pass Granny on a throughway safely without getting hit by the oncoming truck?

They are, um, crooked.

There are many things going wrong in Wellington: empty storefronts, slow economic development, the lack of housing, code violations, few eating options, an aging sewer infrastructure, etc., etc. This seems a bit trivial on a scale of all that is wrong with Wellington.

But it isn’t.

Because this is the one thing travelers will see when passing through town.

It’s the little things that people remember. You can live in an immaculate mansion. But if you have an old broken-down jeep in the front yard, that’s what people will remember.

I am not the most observant of individuals, but every time I get in my pickup to drive around town, this ticks me off. The lines on U.S. 160 have little tails as if they are teaching youngsters what the cursive “L” looks like.

The painted curve near my house on Oilfield Road (pictured at the top) looks like someone isn’t even trying.

If I ever get a DUI on the road (and I should be condemned for drinking and driving), I would still fight it in court.

“Your honor, I was not weaving uncontrollably on the road because I was drunk. I was just following the traffic lines.”

I have always been fascinated by traffic lines. Do you know those one’s on the turnpike (you know the straight ones) you can park a full car on one dotted line?

When I was a little kid, I remember thinking some man had a paintbrush and drew lines down the road with one paintbrush swipe. Mom explained to me there was a machine that did that, and I thought that was cool.

When going down long stretches of road, I wonder how traffic authorities determine the precise moment a passing zone becomes a no-passing zone. I don’t think about the lines being straight because they are straight.

But here in Wellington, our road markings aren’t straight. It’s like putting garage sales or political signs on the roundabout when the center could be architecturally designed into something pretty.

Ugly!

Do we need to purchase a line straightening machine when doing these markings? Maybe the Wellington City Council can budget it. Maybe we can rent it from Avis or something.

Me: “Yes, ma’am I’d like to rent out a line straighten traffic marker machine so we can paint our road markings straight. Here’s my ID.”

Rental lady: “Oh, you must be from Wellington. I’ll see if that is available. Will you be paying cash or credit?”

You wouldn’t paint your house with the color dripping off the trim onto the mainframe? So why are we doing this with our roads?

The Woodlawn Street project is a perfect example of not finishing the job. The city sunk a lot of money redoing that road, and it is a good one. However… they were so sloppy with the road markings, especially around Kennedy Elementary, that you hardly notice it is a new road.

It’s like making a great sundae without putting on the cherry.

The perfect solution is to get someone with OCD to do the road lines. I assure you if my father-in-law were in charge of the project, there wouldn’t be any crooked lines.

We’ve done a lot to make this a great-looking town. Our water tower is the best. Our high school building is impressive. Our golf course rocks. The Cowley College building is a modern marvel. I would venture to say Lions Century Park might have the best walking path in south-central Kansas.

So why would we waste that image for crooked lines on a highway?

I hope this road marking paint is the kind that fades quickly, and we can start over.

Because it is the little things that people remember.

Please, whoever is in charge: Do better.

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